Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

I'm going through a phase. A " Screw the Man, I'll make my own Power Bars!" phase. My brother Eugene got me started on this stint, and now I can't stop.
So, a few mornings ago my brother handed me a wrapper. My first thought was to toss it, but he had a different motive. Eugene wanted me to recreate a weight loss bar called the Fullbar, with only the wrapper and the ingredients on the back to go off of. Lo' and behold I replicated the Fullbar without a hitch!
Like, three days later my dad hands me a catalog from his favorite race fuel company Hammer Nutrition and says "Can you make these for me?" And once again I had the honorable task of fueling my family, this time with coconut date Hammer Bars. Yes, yes I did pull them off!

By the end of that project I was pretty full of myself... I felt like a freakin' genius! Then my mom asked for Fig Newtons. Psh! By then, that was kid stuff. I googled a recipe in like five seconds, tweeked it for lower calories, and the homemade Fig Newtons were on like donkey kong, son!

Fig Bars

1/2 cup butter
1 cup brown sugar, packed
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 1/2 cups all p. flour (I had to adjust because of altitude)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda

Fig Filling

12 oz. (give or take) dried figs finely chopped
1/4 cup sugar
3/4 cups water
2 Tablespoons lemon juice

Mix figs in sauce pan with other ingredients. Cook over medium heat stirring for about 10 minutes or until thick like preserves ( I whirled my mixture in the blender after cooling so the center was more like the O.G. Newtons). Let cool, then cover and chill.

Cream butter and sugar. Then beat in eggs and vanilla until combined. Mix flour, salt, and baking soda, then stir into wet ingredients (excluding filling of course). The dough will be stiff, so work it! Chill overnight.
Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface and roll into a 12x14 inch rectangle. Cut into four 3 1/2 inch strips (pizza cutters are great for this if you're fresh out of pastry cutters)
Spoon filling evenly down the center of the dough strips.

Turn in the sides of the strips with a spatula and pinch the edges together. Cut these strips into about 10 pieces, or whatever floats your boat depending on how long you'd like your bars to be.

Place the bars seam side down on parchment covered baking sheets and bake at 375 degrees F. for 10-12 minutes or until the cookies are firm and lightly browned.


Enjoy these bad boys with a glass of vanilla soymilk and the satisfaction of stickin' it to the Man like a real Rationista.

School Supplies

My only motivation for going back to school was my first-day-of-school outfit. I mean really, hasn't that always been one of the most important outfit days ever? That's when you look your spiffiest and your parents take pictures of you with your backpack and lunch box. A crucial ensemble right?

Crucial usually means pricey. Not just pricey though. Excruciatingly expensive to the point where you settle for the lame basics in multiple colors from K-mart for the one flashy outfit from the mall.

WEAKSAUCE.

Why settle for a not so fabulous wardrobe for the rest of the year? You may not know this, but there is more than likely a Good Will or Salvation Army beckoning you to check out the grooviest stuff that for some reason people leave behind. Don't settle for the multiples. Score the one of a kind swag for some change, pocket lint, and a little well spent time.

I'm back in school already, and this is what I got so far:

Lowepro bag studded with vintage pins, thrifted Old Navy shorts from the Sweet Swap (fave!), Wal*mart shirt, vintage jacket from the swap



The outfits can only get better from there, if you're willing to hunt for the flyest clothes and the lowest price.

Thrifted Good Will blazer, target clearance hoops, dress from the super groovy Purple Lizard, Express clearance sandals

Let the games begin!

Food Gift Flop

I love getting food gifts. They take time, they take love, and they require a little bit of labor... unless they came from a plastic box at walmart. Whatever, either way food is the best present ever.
Just recently I gave what may be the best food gift I've ever given for my homegirl Tiffany's sweet 16.

Super fab right? Sixteen strawberry ricotta cupcakes for sixteen years. Yes I know, clever too!

As superfly as these cupcakes were, I soooooooo didn't think my timing of this gift through. So, when delivery time came for the cutest boxful of cakes ever I called the birthday girl repeatedly only to get her voicemail....like seven times. I then realize that our church's children's group is in northern New Mexico for a week of summer camp fun, and Tiff is a sponsor.
Great. Now how am I gonna get rid of these cupcakes? There was no way I was going to give Tiffany week-old-not-so-sweet-16-cupcakes. No way.

After distributing the nummies among family and homies, Tiff gets home. Cupcake time again! Everything goes well, she picks them up and What? She puts them in the trunk of her car, covers them with a pool towel, and runs errands in the southern New Mexico heat for a few hours. So they melt, and droop, and get all soggy in her tunk, in their cute little box before she even opens it.

Later that day I end up chillin' in her pool with a few other homegirls, and Tiff being the good homie that she is decides to share her gift with all the other homies. They were RAUNCHIE. After their heat stroke mutilation, the cupcakes were put in the fridge to reverse the effects of the 100 degree weather. The frosting was hard and stuck to the roof of your mouth, and the homies were forced to lie about how bomb they were.

So what was the best food gift of all time, melted like the wicked witch into the worst. Happy Sweet Sixteen Tiff!Strawberry Ricotta Cupcakes (Joy the Baker)

1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup (half a stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 egg
8 ounces ricotta cheese mixed with 1/4 cup whole milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon soda
1/2 cup diced strawberries, fresh

Center a rack in the upper third of the oven and preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line a muffin pan with 12 cupcakes papers and set aside. Whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt and set aside. Dice strawberries and set aside.In the bowl of a stand mixer, fit with a paddle attachment, or in a medium bowl with a hand mixer, cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the egg and beat for another 1 minute. Beat in the vanilla.Add the ricotta mixture alternately with the flour mixture. Starting and ending with the flour mixture. Fold in the strawberries .Divide among the 12 muffin tins and bake for 12-15 minutes, or until risen and very lightly browned. Remove from the oven and let cool completely before frosting.


Please, PLEASE, handle with care ;)

Bigger is Badder

No sir! We are not talking about my thunder thighs! We're going to talk about accessories. Ooooohh, accessories. Even my near two year old niece knows the wonders of all that sparkles, shines, and hangs from your hips and shoulders.

For me, when it comes to accessories, I like it big. As a fact of the matter, I like them as big as I can get. I like my puses big. I like my earrings big. I like my clutches big. I love my bows big. As far as I'm concerned, bigger is mos def badder.

My favorite earrings for example, are the biggest ones I could find. I got them on clearance at Target, and they're never leaving my lobes.

So, fear not the giant bow or puffy sleeves.

Super size me!

Adventures in India

Yes, it is true. I have a secret love affair with India. "When did you go to the far East?" you say. That's the problem... I haven't! The closest I may get to India these days is through Betty Crocker's Coffee and Spice cookies ( sad, I know).

But, thanks to the wonders of my public library and my stove, I've achieved a better bond with my favorite country... other than the good 'ol Land of the Free, Home of the Brave.

Thomas Branigan Memorial Library just so happens to have a decent selection of cultural cookbooks; From artsy and out there to bubbi's classic Kosher. There I discovered a bright orange and fuschia book all about traditional Indian cuisine and it's origins. The book broke down the country into different sections, explained their rule and religion, and why their food is so bomb! One vegetarian Hindu recipe totally stuck out to me, and for weeks it was yet another food mission of mine to be accomplished. Packed with protien and signiature Eastern spice, Ande Ki Kari provided me a gateway into India... and after cutting garlic and onions bare handed, my fragrant hands made me feel like a giddy little girl in a totally fab sari.


Ande Ki Kari

2 Tablespoons vegetable oil
2 teaspoons cumin seeds
1 1/2 cups finely chopped onions
1 garlic clove, finely chopped
1 cup diced tomatoes, fresh or canned ( I prefer canned for a jucier sauce)
salt to taste
1/2 teaspoon tumeric
3/4 teaspoon ground coriander seeds
1/2 teaspoon groung cumin seeds
1/2 teaspoon garam masala*
1/4-1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon dried fenugreek leaves (optional)
1 cup water
8 hardboiled eggs, peeled
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
2 Tablespoons chpped fresh coriander leaves
2 Tablespoons heavy cream

Warm the oil in a non-stick skillet over medium high heat. Add the cumin seeds and, after a few seconds add the onions and garlic. Saute about 5 minutes until onions are lightly browned. Reduce the heat to medium and add tomatoes. Cook for 5 minutes, mashing them into sauce with the back of your spoon. When the oil appears around the edges of the pan, add salt and the rest of the spices. Cook 1 minute, then add water and all hardboiled eggs.
Cover and bring to a boil. Immediately reduce heat to medium low and cook for 30 minutes. Turn off heat and mixin the lemon juice and fresh coriander. Let the curry cool for a few minutes before mixing in the cream.
just before serving, lift the eggs out of the sauce and halve them. pour sauce ove egg halves before serving.


Can you smell the spices and see the textiles now? I sure can!