Food Gift Flop

I love getting food gifts. They take time, they take love, and they require a little bit of labor... unless they came from a plastic box at walmart. Whatever, either way food is the best present ever.
Just recently I gave what may be the best food gift I've ever given for my homegirl Tiffany's sweet 16.

Super fab right? Sixteen strawberry ricotta cupcakes for sixteen years. Yes I know, clever too!

As superfly as these cupcakes were, I soooooooo didn't think my timing of this gift through. So, when delivery time came for the cutest boxful of cakes ever I called the birthday girl repeatedly only to get her voicemail....like seven times. I then realize that our church's children's group is in northern New Mexico for a week of summer camp fun, and Tiff is a sponsor.
Great. Now how am I gonna get rid of these cupcakes? There was no way I was going to give Tiffany week-old-not-so-sweet-16-cupcakes. No way.

After distributing the nummies among family and homies, Tiff gets home. Cupcake time again! Everything goes well, she picks them up and What? She puts them in the trunk of her car, covers them with a pool towel, and runs errands in the southern New Mexico heat for a few hours. So they melt, and droop, and get all soggy in her tunk, in their cute little box before she even opens it.

Later that day I end up chillin' in her pool with a few other homegirls, and Tiff being the good homie that she is decides to share her gift with all the other homies. They were RAUNCHIE. After their heat stroke mutilation, the cupcakes were put in the fridge to reverse the effects of the 100 degree weather. The frosting was hard and stuck to the roof of your mouth, and the homies were forced to lie about how bomb they were.

So what was the best food gift of all time, melted like the wicked witch into the worst. Happy Sweet Sixteen Tiff!Strawberry Ricotta Cupcakes (Joy the Baker)

1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup (half a stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 egg
8 ounces ricotta cheese mixed with 1/4 cup whole milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon soda
1/2 cup diced strawberries, fresh

Center a rack in the upper third of the oven and preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line a muffin pan with 12 cupcakes papers and set aside. Whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt and set aside. Dice strawberries and set aside.In the bowl of a stand mixer, fit with a paddle attachment, or in a medium bowl with a hand mixer, cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the egg and beat for another 1 minute. Beat in the vanilla.Add the ricotta mixture alternately with the flour mixture. Starting and ending with the flour mixture. Fold in the strawberries .Divide among the 12 muffin tins and bake for 12-15 minutes, or until risen and very lightly browned. Remove from the oven and let cool completely before frosting.


Please, PLEASE, handle with care ;)

Bigger is Badder

No sir! We are not talking about my thunder thighs! We're going to talk about accessories. Ooooohh, accessories. Even my near two year old niece knows the wonders of all that sparkles, shines, and hangs from your hips and shoulders.

For me, when it comes to accessories, I like it big. As a fact of the matter, I like them as big as I can get. I like my puses big. I like my earrings big. I like my clutches big. I love my bows big. As far as I'm concerned, bigger is mos def badder.

My favorite earrings for example, are the biggest ones I could find. I got them on clearance at Target, and they're never leaving my lobes.

So, fear not the giant bow or puffy sleeves.

Super size me!

Adventures in India

Yes, it is true. I have a secret love affair with India. "When did you go to the far East?" you say. That's the problem... I haven't! The closest I may get to India these days is through Betty Crocker's Coffee and Spice cookies ( sad, I know).

But, thanks to the wonders of my public library and my stove, I've achieved a better bond with my favorite country... other than the good 'ol Land of the Free, Home of the Brave.

Thomas Branigan Memorial Library just so happens to have a decent selection of cultural cookbooks; From artsy and out there to bubbi's classic Kosher. There I discovered a bright orange and fuschia book all about traditional Indian cuisine and it's origins. The book broke down the country into different sections, explained their rule and religion, and why their food is so bomb! One vegetarian Hindu recipe totally stuck out to me, and for weeks it was yet another food mission of mine to be accomplished. Packed with protien and signiature Eastern spice, Ande Ki Kari provided me a gateway into India... and after cutting garlic and onions bare handed, my fragrant hands made me feel like a giddy little girl in a totally fab sari.


Ande Ki Kari

2 Tablespoons vegetable oil
2 teaspoons cumin seeds
1 1/2 cups finely chopped onions
1 garlic clove, finely chopped
1 cup diced tomatoes, fresh or canned ( I prefer canned for a jucier sauce)
salt to taste
1/2 teaspoon tumeric
3/4 teaspoon ground coriander seeds
1/2 teaspoon groung cumin seeds
1/2 teaspoon garam masala*
1/4-1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon dried fenugreek leaves (optional)
1 cup water
8 hardboiled eggs, peeled
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
2 Tablespoons chpped fresh coriander leaves
2 Tablespoons heavy cream

Warm the oil in a non-stick skillet over medium high heat. Add the cumin seeds and, after a few seconds add the onions and garlic. Saute about 5 minutes until onions are lightly browned. Reduce the heat to medium and add tomatoes. Cook for 5 minutes, mashing them into sauce with the back of your spoon. When the oil appears around the edges of the pan, add salt and the rest of the spices. Cook 1 minute, then add water and all hardboiled eggs.
Cover and bring to a boil. Immediately reduce heat to medium low and cook for 30 minutes. Turn off heat and mixin the lemon juice and fresh coriander. Let the curry cool for a few minutes before mixing in the cream.
just before serving, lift the eggs out of the sauce and halve them. pour sauce ove egg halves before serving.


Can you smell the spices and see the textiles now? I sure can!

Wake Up Cookin'

Almost Every day for the past three weeks I have woken up around 8 O' clock, with food on the brain. I've had a mission, task or aspiration that cannot be put aside until it is accomplished, and I believe, that all of this food drive has come out of necessity... or my loathing Bobby Flay. Anyways! I have done a great amount of cooking lately, and I'd love to share it with you, starting with this:
I decided to make pretzels for this reason: I despise Bobby Flay, and I'm not the type of person to outwardly dislike someone, but Bobby Flay really sours my milk. Since I've got more time on my hands this summer, I've gotten to watch a lot more television. Recently I discovered how awesome it feels to watch Bobby lose on his own show Throwdown with Bobby Flay. I was both very satisfied and inspired to watch him lose to a Philly pretzel master making uh, pretzels of course! Even though I got much joy out of watching Bobby fail, all I could think during that half hour was "If Bobby can make pretzels, then I totally can!" And so, super duper soft pretzels were born.



I used Alton Brown's recipe ( because I respect and admire him much more than I do Bobby Flay).

Here you go! I hope they bring you as much satisfaction (mean spirited or not) as they did me.

Soft Pretzels:

• 1 1/2 cups warm (110 to 115 degrees F) water
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 2 teaspoons kosher salt
• 1 package active dry yeast
• 22 ounces all-purpose flour, approximately 4 1/2 cups
• 2 ounces unsalted butter, melted
• Vegetable oil, for pan
• 10 cups water
• 2/3 cup baking soda
• 1 large egg yolk beaten with 1 tablespoon water
• Pretzel salt

Combine the water, sugar and kosher salt in the bowl of a stand mixer and sprinkle the yeast on top. Allow to sit for 5 minutes or until the mixture begins to foam. Add the flour and butter and, using the dough hook attachment, mix on low speed until well combined. Change to medium speed and knead until the dough is smooth and pulls away from the side of the bowl, approximately 4 to 5 minutes. Remove the dough from the bowl, clean the bowl and then oil it well with vegetable oil. Return the dough to the bowl, cover with plastic wrap and sit in a warm place for approximately 50 to 55 minutes or until the dough has doubled in size.

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F. Line 2 half-sheet pans with parchment paper and lightly brush with the vegetable oil. Set aside.

Bring the 10 cups of water and the baking soda to a rolling boil in an 8-quart saucepan or roasting pan.

In the meantime, turn the dough out onto a slightly oiled work surface and divide into 8 equal pieces. Roll out each piece of dough into a 24-inch rope. Make a U-shape with the rope, holding the ends of the rope, cross them over each other and press onto the bottom of the U in order to form the shape of a pretzel. Place onto the parchment-lined half sheet pan.

Place the pretzels into the boiling water, 1 by 1, for 30 seconds. Remove them from the water using a large flat spatula. Return to the half sheet pan, brush the top of each pretzel with the beaten egg yolk and water mixture and sprinkle with the pretzel salt. Bake until dark golden brown in color, approximately 12 to 14 minutes. Transfer to a cooling rack for at least 5 minutes before serving.

Good Will Summer

I seriously have not been very motivated to leave my house this summer. Like, I'll shower and get all dressed up and fab, but only for the sake of looking fab. I won't leave the house... maybe I'll check the mail, then most likely bake something. All the while, I and only I absolutely relish the comfort of my kitchen and how fly I look.

Only you can really feel the joy of looking fly for cheaps.



Dress-Good Will, Shoes-Payless, Betsey Johnson bag-Gift from Tiff, Jewels-handmedowns.


Try staying in, looking fab, and cooking well as if you were on WWII rations.
Be a rationista.

Summer Classic

I actually have a goal this summer. Other than relaxing and looking fly, I fully intend to finish every Nancy Drew book this summer. I just can't get enough of that girl! She's crafty, always looks good, she's determined, and she always appreciates a good meal. She's a timeless character. A classic.

This summer I am committed to the classics. Even my baking has gone old school. Fresh ingredients are good for a dusty recipe, like Betty Crocker's Coffee-And-Spice Drops.

Kick it in the kitchen this summer.



Coffee-And-Spice Drops Intriguing flavors from the Far East

Mix together thoroughly:
1 cup soft shortening
2 cups brown sugar
2 eggs

Stir in:
1/2 cup cold coffee

Sift together and stir in:
3 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon cinnamon

Chill at least 1 hour. Drop rounded teaspoonfuls about 2" apart on a lightly greased baking sheet. Bake until set... just until, when touched lightly with finger, almost no imprint remains.

Temperature: 400 degrees F.
Time: 8-10 min.
Amount" About 6 doz 2 1/2" cookies.


Keep it classic

Things That Stay

Lately my padres have been mentioning when I move out. Not like a "when you move out... because I'm counting the days" but a "this is something that you'll take with you when you do" kind of way. I don't have a hope chest or whatever, but I'm becoming increasingly aware that my days of grown-up-hood are coming to get me.

The two items that have truly kept me on my toes are possibly the greatest purchases I've ever made.

My dutch oven, Walmart.

Triple Fringe Minnetonka moccasins.

I guess some things just stay with you, like a good pair of boots and a cast iron pot.