Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

I'm going through a phase. A " Screw the Man, I'll make my own Power Bars!" phase. My brother Eugene got me started on this stint, and now I can't stop.
So, a few mornings ago my brother handed me a wrapper. My first thought was to toss it, but he had a different motive. Eugene wanted me to recreate a weight loss bar called the Fullbar, with only the wrapper and the ingredients on the back to go off of. Lo' and behold I replicated the Fullbar without a hitch!
Like, three days later my dad hands me a catalog from his favorite race fuel company Hammer Nutrition and says "Can you make these for me?" And once again I had the honorable task of fueling my family, this time with coconut date Hammer Bars. Yes, yes I did pull them off!

By the end of that project I was pretty full of myself... I felt like a freakin' genius! Then my mom asked for Fig Newtons. Psh! By then, that was kid stuff. I googled a recipe in like five seconds, tweeked it for lower calories, and the homemade Fig Newtons were on like donkey kong, son!

Fig Bars

1/2 cup butter
1 cup brown sugar, packed
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 1/2 cups all p. flour (I had to adjust because of altitude)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda

Fig Filling

12 oz. (give or take) dried figs finely chopped
1/4 cup sugar
3/4 cups water
2 Tablespoons lemon juice

Mix figs in sauce pan with other ingredients. Cook over medium heat stirring for about 10 minutes or until thick like preserves ( I whirled my mixture in the blender after cooling so the center was more like the O.G. Newtons). Let cool, then cover and chill.

Cream butter and sugar. Then beat in eggs and vanilla until combined. Mix flour, salt, and baking soda, then stir into wet ingredients (excluding filling of course). The dough will be stiff, so work it! Chill overnight.
Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface and roll into a 12x14 inch rectangle. Cut into four 3 1/2 inch strips (pizza cutters are great for this if you're fresh out of pastry cutters)
Spoon filling evenly down the center of the dough strips.

Turn in the sides of the strips with a spatula and pinch the edges together. Cut these strips into about 10 pieces, or whatever floats your boat depending on how long you'd like your bars to be.

Place the bars seam side down on parchment covered baking sheets and bake at 375 degrees F. for 10-12 minutes or until the cookies are firm and lightly browned.


Enjoy these bad boys with a glass of vanilla soymilk and the satisfaction of stickin' it to the Man like a real Rationista.